Peace

I sit here outside my house on my front steps looking at the sky, the endless universe, trying to escape all of my struggles and problems, and crying out to God. I don't know how many of you have felt like this but I know I do right now. I struggle with some pretty severe anxiety and tonight is was destroying me. Feeling worthless, and trying to "get on top of things", has lead me here...broken, alone, and in need of something greater then a short term fix. I don't know about you but when I need a heavenly fix I like to look at the heavens, and reflect on the immense majesty, and infinities of our God. Whenever I crumble he seems to always be there. Whenever I can't go on he picks me up and carries me, always whispering truth. I opened my bible app and the parable about shameless persistence comes up, and I am reminded that as long as I continue crying out to him he will answer me. So here I sit, in need of a savior bigger then anything I can imagine. 

And if you listen, tea close, past the sounds of this Earth you can hear something. A gentle whisper of a God that chooses not to shout. A God who meets is in the quiet moments, for isn't that why he said pray in the closet? Isn't that why he demonstrated it to Elijaih on his mountain? Because right now for me that voice is bringing me the one thing I need to hear, all the comfort I need. "Hunter, I Love you" it brings me to tears everytime, this most basic of truths. It has taken me the past 5 years of knowing him to understand even a little about it, and what little I know makes me weep for joy. Because when I am at my weakest, he is at his strongest. When I can't carry on, he carries me on. When my strength is gone, "my strength comes from the Lord". Because I have Faith, one of the strongest faiths Inknow of, and I know a truth about it. That faith is "the confidence in what her hope for and the assurance for what we cannot see". And that gives me hope because even though I cannot see God he is there, and He UNDENIABLY loves me. So, when I cannot carry on, I put my faith in him. So Inwrote this as a message of hope to you-lean into Jesus. He is there. And if one of you is struggling like Indo on a daily basis? Let this be a reminder that there is a God who loves you and will never leave. "From eternity to eternity I am God, no one can undo what I have down, no one can snatch anyone out of my hand" -Isaiah 43:13

Grief

I post this today in grief. Last night I found out of my friends at my old school was found dead. Suicide. But not only grief for me, for a school of some of my friends someone else committed suicide 2 days ago. This is an imperfect world, and it hurts, a lot. I talk to people who are hurting, with stunned expressions, not believing this could happen. Earlier this year someone from my school unexpectedly caught a disease and died within a month. I have learned pain, learned grief. So this post is to the hurting, the broken, the grief-filled people that we all walk by everyday.
In my life I was always blessed not to have this happen, having heard about this more and more. Now that it has, twice, I understand how blessed I was. This hurts, its painful, but I rest in my support, my foundation. I remember that even Jesus grieved, even he wept for his friend. If that isn't permission to grieve I don't know what else could be. There is no answer, no response, but there is a God you can rest in. Whenever trouble comes my way and the storm rages more and more I lean into Jesus. The more the storm rages the harder I press into him. So even now, as I write this with grief, remember past grief, and reflect on others' grief, I am not done. I may be hit, but I'm not down. I want this for others too. Rest in your savior, he has not forgotten you, has not abandoned you. Now is the time for this world to see christians to be broken, and leaning into Jesus. Now is not the time for perfect christians, but christians who need a christ.
Finally, know that it is okay, to not be okay. Be broken, need Jesus. Grieve. Don't give up hope yet, Jesus isn't done with us here on Earth.

Battles, battling, and why we have Hope

Awhile back I wrote a sermon(yet to be preached) on battling. Something I noticed, and still see around me is that people are just losing battles everywhere. When hard times come, people just struggle along for years sometimes, and it kills me. It kills me because we have a hope, a guide, and a promise of victory people don't even realize. 

See if you look into the Bible you will find some I interesting truths about battling. First of all, you are not the first one to fight your battle. One of the main lies we believe-that nobody understands, yet in Matthew 4:2 it says Jesus was tempted in the desert. Starving, broken, struggling along the devil threw everything he had at him and Jesus prevailed. See 2,000 years ago Jesus already beat your battles on the cross, he has already won! This truth was ingrained into the Israelites as they left Jesus following the cloud and pillar of fire. They knew that if they followed God they had victory. Look at Deuteronomy 31:8 "For the Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will neither leave nor forsake you". Did you catch it? The Lord goes before you! So when you are fighting know that Jesus has already been there and has declared victory. 

Secondly, God is walking it out right beside you, waiting to give his assistance and help you conquer. Jesus made a promise that "Surely I am with you always, to the end of the age" -Matthew 28:20b, and he did this by providing the Holy Spirit that "came like tongues of fire". And if you notice the disciples after that, they continue to cast things out in Jesus's name, just like before! Jesus has sent his ambassador from heaven to fight your battle with you, you are never alone. The devil will do everything he can to convince you that you're alone, don't believe him! 

Finally, you will not be the last one to fight your battle. Jesus made a promise that he would come back to restore heaven and Earth, and declare victory once and for all. He has not abandoned you, has not forgotten. Never give up hope. Your battle may seem difficult, but he is coming back, and we will be with him, the author and perfecter of our faith.

This reminds me of a story about an Amazon guide. See these tourists were following this guide through the Amazon, and we're on a trek. Hours go back and these tourists have no idea where they are at, and feel very lost. Finally one of the, confronts the guide asking where the path is. The guide then calmly turns around and answers "I am the path". See the guide knew where he was all along, and made his own path. This is a lot like Jesus. The path may seem to disappear, but if you latch onto him, he will make all things clear, and you will win. It's time to stop losing the battles and start having some victory in out lives. Trust the Guide. He goes before you, is with you, and is your rear guard, how can you lose that way? I challenge you to combat the lies, and trust in the one God who can give us victory. Let's go win some battles, I know victory is out there for all of us. 

Desperation, Hopelessness, and Jesus's Provision

My Pastor recently preached on Jesus(obviously), but in the sermon there was a video where he went through every book of the bible and said what Jesus was in that book. From the light on the road to Damascus to the King of Kings, he gave a picture into who Jesus is, that I want to bring more to light.  See recently I have been learning from Jesus a very important principle, desperation. Because in everything I do I want to be so desperate for Jesus I have nowhere else to turn to, because that's where he shows up in the most miraculous ways. Like with Gideon and his 300 men. When he became completely reliant on Jesus to win the battle, God did, and he did it without a fight. For I have learned an important truth these past couple weeks, that it is only when we are completely dependent on Jesus that we see the biggest miracles happen. Daniel and the lions den, the fiery furnace, parting the red sea. This is everywhere in the bible! 

But even more than that. Jesus not only showed up, but showed up exactly how he was needed. Connecting this back to my pastors video, Jesus was the savior he needed to be to each individual person! To Gideon he was the ultimate commander, to Daniel he was master of the lions, to the disciples he was Lord over the wind and the waves, to Moses he was the everlastingly burning bush. When we need Jesus desperately, he shows up miraculously, in the exact way we need him to. Without fail, every time, he shows up. Ruth with her restored kin-ship, Rahab with her Scarlet yarn, David and Goliath, the blind beggar by the gate, the adulterer woman about to be stoned, the woman by the well. This is repeated time and time again, the redemptive character of Jesus Christ. So next time you hit a bump in the road, or a huge pothole, and need some help, remember that this is the God you love. This is the God that sacrificed himself on the cross for your sins. This, is the heavenly "cavalry" that will come to your rescue.  "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety"-Psalms 18:2